Holly Tree Manor #100 - Where next?

A little over a year ago I started Holly Tree Manor. I was concerned that too much of my "real" life seeped into the pages of Between the Keys and that perhaps it was of no interest to my readers. I've continued to blog at Holly Tree Manor and find myself at the time to write blog entry number one-hundred.  

Number one-hundred puts me at the point where I decided the decision to open the blog to my readers or keep it as a much-needed journal would be made. 

Journaling is a useful tool. Social workers and other mental health support personnel often suggest journaling as a way to get in touch with your innermost feelings. For me, it's more of a way to remember my feelings at a particular moment in my life. It helps me keep my thoughts organized. 

Holly Tree Manor is about my day-to-day life outside of writing. By that I mean I don't blog about my word count. Who really needs to know I wrote 1017 words in a manuscript before I closed the file and went to Between the Keys, Deuce's Day, or here to relax?  

Not everyone has the need to compartmentalize their life in as much detail as I seem to need to do it. I wonder if the joy I have in my dog, Deuce, my love of living in the country, the satisfaction I feel when I practice the old-time skills my grandmother taught me - are these things that people want to know about? Do they care about my concerns for the future? Do my opinions matter? Will my opinions turn off my readers to the point they will no longer support my books? Can I really lay myself bare to the world? These are questions I don't have the answers to and that is why Holly Tree Manor has been kept separate. And silent. 

There has been a lot of division in the world lately. I'm feeling the brunt of it as there are sweeping changes being made that will impact the quality of my life. My RURAL life. It is as though my entire family no longer matters. Our simple way of life no longer matters. I'm paying taxes to support a government that no longer supports me and my family, but instead is taking from us. I am in distress. 

I know I am not alone in my distress. Those who see a dystopian future are stupidly hell-bent on bringing it to pass. I have maybe twenty years left to live in this natural realm and for the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of dying. I UNDERSTAND why people choose to die when their world collapses around them. I'm more frightened of owning that understanding than actual death. 

So where do I go from here? Do I open Holly Tree Manor blog up and in turn open myself and my country life to the ridicule of city dwellers and urbanites? Do I force myself to cease worrying and share the blog in the hope that it will resonate with some people? Are one-hundred blog entries enough and should I say goodbye? 

It appears I have no answers at all.

The Lady of Holly Tree Manor