It's actually snowing - the first snow of 2024. Part of me wants to bundle up and go outside with the dog, and another part of me wants to go downstairs to the den and read beside the woodstove. Since I'm blogging, it's a good guess I'm doing neither.
At this hour, the forecast stands at 4-8 inches. That's quite a spread. They always leave themselves room to be wrong. I'm not too worried about it. I have a well-stocked pantry and more than enough firewood to make it through a day or two. The snow-pusher is mounted on the John Deere 1023 but I doubt I'll need to use it. The Colorado is 4x4, and eight inches of snow won't be a problem for it if some emergency happens and I have to go out.
Back in the days when my mother was herself, snow was the impetus for phone calls. As soon as one of us spotted snow, we called and when the other answered, we did a little sing-song of "it's snowing, it's snowing I saw it fiiirrst!". It was something we did, without fail, and Alzheimer's took that from us.
They say with Alzheimer's the person is still inside there, somewhere. I don't see that with my mother. Who she was is gone, and who she is now is a stranger.
The snow is lovely as it falls to ground. Even the sad memories can't detract from its beauty. It tears at my heart to remember how much Mom loved to see it snow. She won't even see it from her room in the nursing home.
So I take a deep breath and let go of what I can't change. And I watch the snow fall and I remember for both of us.
The Lady of Holly Tree Manor/The Hideaway
Holly Tree Manor, The Hideaway, snow, Alzheimer's Disease, mother, memories, cats, games, rural living, country lifestyle, a writer's life, loss of parent
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