Head first into the metaphorical wall

It's not been the best of weeks. I accomplished a few things, sure, but I definitely feel a bit melancholy as the end of summer approaches.  I'm sure part of the problem is those feelings of guilt when I leave the spousal unit home alone to go play in the woods with the dog. If you think our State parks are handicap friendly you'd be wrong. We live beside a state park and access to the trail system is blocked to power chairs and scooters by very large boulders and locked gates. But I digress....for now...

This morning I processed another ten pints of tomato sauce. I did go purchase enough tomatoes to add to my own to fill the canner with nine jars and have one left over to use in the next few days. I've enjoyed canning this summer and get giddy when I view my shelves in the basement. I've got a good variety and plan to add soups to it as the fall weather brings cooler evenings. 

Another thing weighing on my mind is something that seems to be an annual event in my greater community. Three young men, all in high school, were killed in an automobile accident a few days ago. The car driven by one of the young men attempted to merge onto the Interstate and struck a tractor-trailer. The local police determined the car was moving at a high rate of speed. What they don't say is lack of experience was certainly a factor. My heart goes out to the families, families that will never be the same. There were losses in my day as well and even though I am not family, I don't forget. 

I hope that when tomorrow dawns I wake with renewed energy. I don't like feeling "mopey" and having no ambition. The spousal unit, a very smart man, suggests that I've needed a bit of a break. He may be correct although I'll refrain from saying that to him. I think my funk has put him in a funk. He's hovering. 

So tomorrow, in the mood or not, I must rise early and go for a long walk. It will do me, and Deuce, a world of good. A break is a fine thing, but I have much to do as the days shorten. I'll have plenty of time for "breaks" when the mercury dips below 32F. 

The Lady of Holly Tree Manor (The Hideaway)

**I learned after posting this that one of the young men killed last week is the nephew of an old school friend.**

Holly Tree Manor, The Hideaway, country living, rural lifestyle, home food preservation, motivations, community mourns, walking the dog, state parks, canning, a writer's life, car accidents, seasons, autumn, end of summer

Plans are rarely static

The old saying is, "the more things change, the more they stay the same." It's often true, but sometimes the more things change, the more they change. Take my retirement calculation, for example. 

On the surface, I have 57 total work days, or 11 weeks, until my retirement date. I don't work Mondays, so do the subtraction and we have 46 days. Now let's figure in the new twist. They want to throw me a retirement party on Sunday, May 22. 

You know that after the party, I will not go back into the office. 

So do the subtraction and we have 39 days, less one Friday when a friend is coming into town for one day and I'm spending it with her. So we're left with 38 working days. 

Thirty-eight working days. 

Thirty-eight days I'm not looking forward to.

Thirty-eight bittersweet days. 

I'm excited and sad, contented and regretful, all at the same time. For such a long time, I thought all I'd feel is relief. There is some of that - I'm sure I'll be relieved when I walk out of that party. And my conscience will be clear. I've done the very best I know how to do. 

But maybe the most surprising thing is how worried I am about spending 24/7 with the Man of the Manor. Yes, me and the spousal unit have some different ideas on what MY retirement should look like. I'm sure it will work out. If he annoys me, I can call Deuce and take off for the woods where the man can't follow us. That may seem like a cold thing to do to a disabled person, but it's not if he drives me to it. 

I'm a fan of making lists. I may not follow them with strict adherence, but a list is part of my thinking process. It's putting my thoughts and ideas down so I don't forget them. There is value in that. Does it matter that items on Monday's list don't happen until Thursday? Probably not. The Monday critical items will likely be done first and what falls to the wayside are just notions. I can deal with that. 

So I think I'm off to make a list of ideas for the Summer of '22. Maybe I'll jot down a few things and then engage the spousal unit and see if he has any different ones. We can then "discuss" them. It should make for an interesting afternoon.

The Lady of Holly Tree Manor (The Hideaway)