Trust your instincts

It's not good news. Today the Lord of the Manor will undergo a biopsy. He has a mass in his lung.

My grandmother would frequently admonish me to trust my instincts. She was spot on, and I did. I knew there was something more serious going on with him than what the doctors knew. I didn't know what it was, but I knew. 

I wasn't surprised when the doctor said the scan showed a mass. Himself smoked most of his life. He gave them up on October 18, 2006, smoking his last cig in the parking deck at Johns Hopkins before going in to have half his liver removed. That was cancer, too. My father smoked and he died from lung cancer so I've been down this road before. I don't think the Lord of the Manor was surprised, either. I think he sensed it but said nothing. 

Where we go from here is a bit unclear. He has decisions to make. It's his life and his body. He has to decide what he's willing to endure in the way of treatment. Having survived cancer almost twenty years ago, he knows what chemotherapy is like and he stated in the past he doesn't want to go through it again. I'm not sure I have the authority to force him. I was beside him before and it was horrible for him. They also serve who only stand and wait. 

I don't know what this day will bring. I only know I will trust my instincts as I stand and wait, and I will support the man I love in whatever decision he eventually makes. 

The Lady of Holly Tree Manor/The Hideaway

Holly Tree Manor, The Hideaway, cancer, instincts, rural living, chemotherapy, country lifestyle, life decisions, treatments